Win Hearts, Not Arguments
/
Win Hearts, Not Arguments
A Christlike approach to engaging with culture.
There’s no doubt that Jesus knew how to “throw down.” In fact, Jesus called the Pharisees a “brood of vipers” and “children of the devil.” Remember when Jesus made a whip out of cords and drove the moneychangers and animals out of the temple? In truth, Jesus wasn’t a stranger to conflict.
That’s not the whole story though. In fact, there’s three things to keep in mind here:
Jesus was usually harsh when he was dealing with false teachers and those in authority who were within his own “tribe.”
Jesus’ teachings and desire for us couldn’t be more clear: to love our enemies, to turn the other cheek, to follow his model of service and sacrifice.
We’re called to work towards shalom, bringing peace and reconciliation.
Consider for a moment the time that Jesus got into a debate with a Canaanite woman (and called her a dog) in Matthew 15:21-28.
21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”
Here we have a woman who is identified as a Canaanite (a historic enemy of Israel) and yet she shows some knowledge of Hebrew theology - referring to Jesus as “Son of David.” Yet Jesus seems to ignore her and his disciples obviously consider her to be a nuisance.
24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”
Jesus says, “no” and heartbreakingly there’s nothing she can do about it. It’s not because she doesn’t have enough money or because she belongs to the wrong political party - she has the wrong ethnicity.
25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.
The woman persists.
26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
Jesus gives a harsh response and doubles down on his initial reply. Some would defend Jesus’ use of the word “dogs” here to try and make this sound less harsh but the truth is, calling someone a dog was an insult back then just as much as it is now. In fact, we see it being used as an insult several times throughout scripture. To be sure, Jesus’ intent is to create a metaphor and he’s not intending to insult but it would still sting - especially given the circumstances.
27 “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”
I love this turn of events. The woman disagrees with Jesus and leans into the debate. Jesus is this well known rabbi who has a reputation for swiftly and adeptly refuting religious leaders and critics. Here, a Canaanite woman dares to debate with Jesus. It’s a scandalous moment and if we were there, we’d probably see the disciple’s jaws on the floor or their faces full of outrage.
28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.
Was Jesus wrong? No. Was Jesus trying to win an argument? No. What happens here?
Jesus heals this woman’s daughter but He does more than that - He elevates the dignity of Gentile women by allowing his disciples to witness her great faith and her ability to go toe to toe with their Lord.
Jesus wasn’t interested in winning the argument. He was interested in winning the heart. In fact, He’s even willing to appear to lose an argument, to hurt his reputation, in order to work towards a greater purpose.
A simple reminder for us today to think “How can I win this person’s heart?” rather than, “How can I win this argument?”